Where's the song ~~ "Don't let your daughters grow up to marry a Cowboy" ?

​​​​​​​Life is tough! Requires hard physical work, long, long days of pain, dirt, and broken fingernails.​
​Days of frigid cold & scorching heat; through the dust & mud; daybreak into the darkness of nite~~​
​the heart & body becomes toughened & weathered replicating leather!​
​A forever constant factor for a real Cowboy's Wife is tons of sweat, oceans of tears and a constant 'drought' in the wallet!​
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​​​​​​​​​IF​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ she wants to spend anytime at all with her Cowboy, she must do as he does, you become partners!​
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​​​​​​Kick off your boots, grab a cup of coffee, sit back and envision yourself in my life!​
​... It really isn't that bad! There are many rewards to be had to make it a great lifestyle! ...​ ​​​​​​​

Friday, September 5, 2008

I never claimed to be...

...the smartest duck in the lake!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Today, I went on a rampage in the garden wielding a pair of scissors!
The grasshoppers were plentiful and I had a brainstorm!
Chase them down, catch those buggars & cut their heads off!
Cover them in chocolate…everybody loves chocolate, right?
(I didn’t think it would be too appetizing to leave heads on)
I thought if I packaged them real purty like, I could give boxes of Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers fresh from A Cowboy's Wife's garden ~
as great gifts to all my friends at Christmas!
Sounding pretty good, eh?


*****
HOW TO: If you want some before Christmas
**snicker, snicker...
Melt baker's chocolate in double boiler.
Fill molds halfway with chocolate, add grasshoppers,

fill rest of the way.
A tasty surprise in every one!





*****


Place your orders now if you want my surplus!


OK...let the chasing begin!
I put on my racing shoes,
(and mind you, I NEVER wear shoes, so this was meant to be hard core competition!)
donned my knee pads for the crashes I knew awaited me,
And headed for the gate!
Bucket and scissors in tow!

The Game is on fellars! Here comes the tough Cowboy's Wife!

"....ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles. And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go...."

(Oh, those are Johnny Horton's words...

and besides...rabbits DO go where I am about to go!)

I made a wide sweep around the corn stubble, through the strawberry patch.
Danged!
These grasshoppers wanted to play a wild game of "Catch me if you can”!

Given that I had nothing better to do today, (if you believe that, I have ocean front property to sell you right here in the Palouse!) and with grandiose visions of the approaching “season of sugar plums” dancing in my head…or at best…Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers,
I advised them that I was up for a full eight innings…more if required!
After the ‘trip’, ooops, around the 3rd row of stubble, collecting my footing,
fist still curled...
I opened the fingers ..and.. lo and behold! Ten catches in one!

Hey, this is going to be fun!

So, I crouch low, sneak around the jungle of tomato bushes,
and dove into the compost pile!

Howdy Doody! Now I have 28 in the bucket!

I’m not tuckered yet nor am I suffering any pain, so let’s keep playing!

Tromping through the bean patch (because I am soooo done with them!)
I managed to tackle 33 more of these feisty varmints.
The bucket is yet to be heavy in numbers, so let’s continue!

Once more around the strawberries, through the carrots that refused to produce

(I just know where I planted them) ...up to the zucchini!
May as well trash through them I figured,
even the chickens are tired of ‘em!

Onward and upward!

Stumbling through the mighty Dill, scattering seeds to wind…....
oh well, next year my whole garden will grow already pickled!

Tiptoeing through the cantaloupe.....
(no I wasn’t thinking of Tiny Tim’s Tulips...but since you mentioned it...)


Tiptoe to the window, by the window that is where I'll be......
Come tiptoe through the tulips with me!
Tiptoe from your pillow, to the shadow of a willow tree.....
And tiptoe through the tulips with me!
Knee deep in flowers will stray,
we'll keep the showers away.
And if I kiss you in the garden,
in the moonlight, will you pardon me?
Come tiptoe through the tulips with me!


....and leaping over the peppers I finally decide to call it quits, there are more than enough for dipping in chocolate...for the trip to Grandmother's house!
Oh...I am the Grandmother...come on over and get your
Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers!

Over the river and through the woods
To Grandmother's house we go.The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh, Through white and drifted snow.
Over the river and through the woods,Oh, how the wind does blow.It stings the toes and bites the nose. As over the ground we go.
Over the river and through the woods, To have a full day of play.
Oh, hear the bells ringing ting-a-ling-ling,For it is Christmas Day.
Over the river and through the woods,Trot fast my dapple gray;
Spring o'er the ground just like a hound,For this is Christmas Day.
Over the river and through the woods, And straight through the barnyard gate.
It seems that we go so dreadfully slow;It is so hard to wait.
Over the river and through the woods, Now Grandma's cap I spy.
Hurrah for fun; the pudding's done;Hurrah for the pumpkin pie.


Oops, I almost forgot, there are those gorgeous red beets over yonder!
I'll bet there are more than 100 of these 'dying to be' Chocolate critters in there...

OK...One more round guys!
Here I come!



The Cheering crowd of pumpkins was driving me on!

Even the competition was slithering out of my way!





I'm running towards the finish line!

Beets! Here I come, yield into my bucket, those grand grasshoppers!

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!
!

OUCH!!!!

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!
!
!

Game is over....

I lose!

No Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers for the giving at Christmas!

Garden is trashed!

And I don't care..

Beets are the end of my gardening career for this year of 2008...

Yep.....

You know those danged scissors I was wielding around?

GOT ME!!!!

Snipping the leaves off the beets!

Cut right through the band-aid & into my two day old Pinkie wound that has yet to quit throbbing when abused & made it bigger yet!!

Anyone got a knife? Oh...I forgot, I do

...someone want the job of chopping the durned thing off so it's out of my way??? I won't even charge you!

Wonder what it is....about me, my Pinkie, and RED food???

....how's that TW?

18 comments:

Sarah said...

You crack me up.

Your day chasing grasshoppers sounds like my day chasing Jaylee.

Wonder how the grandparents would feel about a chocolate covered granddaughter for Christmas.

:)

Train Wreck said...

Oh your poor pinky it looks so sore.

Patti said...

lol! You are really having fun with blogging these days aren't you? And more gross piknkie pics! Take it easy some days. ~Love you.

JennyLu said...

AGAIN??? Poor pinky. I guess it is like stubbing your toe, do it once and you'll do it a hundred times.

Try some neosporene, maybe it will help ward off the sciors (SP). Tell me tho, how can you type with that injury?

~~tosses some bubble wrap your way~~ for the next time you have to use a sharp object. Wrap your hands up first ... add tape... ;)

Cactus Jack Splash said...

This post was great! I can just picutre the whole event in my head. Sorry about your pinkie. Have you thought about putting one of those WalMart metal splints on it to keep it safe?

terri said...

Ooh, not again! Give that poor pinkie a break will ya?

So your sister's in Woodbury, huh? She's just "next door" to me!

LL said...

Mmmmmmmmm... grasshoppers...

Sage said...

What have you got against your pinkey? mashing it twice in a week.. and all for chasing grasshoppers... personally I think they taste nicer toasted with a honey and nut dressing rather than chocolate... but there you go.

{{hugs}}

Mrs Mom said...

WOW ya had me and Dear Husband both cracking up as I read this post out loud! (Theres something about reading things out loud that makes them THAT MUCH FUNNIER).... He has classical chef training, and said that if you DO decide to give Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers for Christmas, to please be sure to fry the little buggers first ;) This way, they will be crisy, and wont make anyone ill :)

(Wont make anyone ill??? Much as I LOOOOOVE chocolate, you could not pay me enough to eat it with a grasshopper in it!)

oregontribal1 said...

I discovered your blog from a friend of mine! I absolutely chuckled and snorted when reading about your "grasshopper" field day!
Keep up the good work, look forward to hearing more.

JennyLu said...

Any injuries today? Hope the rest of the weekend was safer.

The W.O.W. factor said...

OK Y'all~ Pinkie is wrapped and safe (looks like Heck, may rot off so I don't have to worry about it next year! :)
I am DONE with my garden! (maybe more tomato sauce...no sharp objects involved).
Let the grasshoppers do as they may!
~~Sorry, but there will be NO Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers from this Cowboy's Wife in your Christmas stockings this year!

Saddle Mountain Rider said...

Didnt your mother ever tell you not to run with scissors? And a query concerning your tasty treats - did you fry the grasshoppers before you dipped them in chocolate? I wouldnt care for any, you understand ...just wondering... (are you crazy?) love the post - except for the snake,

Rue said...

Good morning Barb :)

I think it's best if you stay away from sharp objects for a while! I can't belive the grasshoppers won!

Be careful!

hugs,
DADR rue

karenhappywoman said...

I just tried to cut of a slice of index finger while harvesting a red pepper yesterday... Gardening is clearly a risky business! They say that some insects are good to eat and very healthy ... Never tried though. I guess you've heard about the 100 different ways to prepare zucchinis? Stuffed, baked, cooked, steamed, raw, in soups and oriental dishes. You can even eat the flowers, baked in olive oil with a pinch of salt and garlic Goats and chickens love them too!!! Let alone pumpkins :-))
What are beets?

Midlife Mom said...

What a hoot! You had me going there! Sorry about your pinky!

Theresa @ Take A Sentimental Journey said...

Dang,are we gonna have to hide everything that is sharp from you ?? Ouch !that looks terrible !!

Alex said...

hahahaa..you're a hoot! =)