Where's the song ~~ "Don't let your daughters grow up to marry a Cowboy" ?

​​​​​​​Life is tough! Requires hard physical work, long, long days of pain, dirt, and broken fingernails.​
​Days of frigid cold & scorching heat; through the dust & mud; daybreak into the darkness of nite~~​
​the heart & body becomes toughened & weathered replicating leather!​
​A forever constant factor for a real Cowboy's Wife is tons of sweat, oceans of tears and a constant 'drought' in the wallet!​
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​​​​​​​​​IF​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ she wants to spend anytime at all with her Cowboy, she must do as he does, you become partners!​
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​​​​​​Kick off your boots, grab a cup of coffee, sit back and envision yourself in my life!​
​... It really isn't that bad! There are many rewards to be had to make it a great lifestyle! ...​ ​​​​​​​

Friday, June 27, 2008

From the Heart...

....as my blog title says...

Karen had "questions" in the comments part…"On the Rim of a Bucket..", so here's the answers to the best of my ability.

This is really a tough one to answer….as we didn’t really “think” about things as we were doing, choosing &… LIVING. It was just life…flowing though our veins.
"Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness. " -- George Bernard Shaw
Let me begin with a question..did you read “Our Life”?

As I've written this, I deleted , added some more, and cut out even more…not knowing how much I should share to the “blogging world”. Then my Hubby said… "it’s from your heart! That is what your blog is about!!”

So, this is my uncut version…take it for what it's worth.
A brief synopsis of us:

Hubby’s Mom died when he was 6 yrs & his brother was 10 months. His Dad worked construction & was gone a lot. As a matter of convenience & necessity, he married a widower with 5 children of her own. She was a tough, tough lady! And for a 6 yr old, it became a battle for him…. Soon, he was ‘farmed’ out to relatives in Ohio on a dairy farm, back to Washington to friends on a cattle ranch. He became a “lost” soul. He struggled to find himself, to find where he ‘belonged’. He found the camaraderie & “love” with the animals surrounding him…they were his companions, his life.
At 14, he was on his own. He worked numerous jobs, riding his bike to & from work & school…to survive.( FFA was the only reason he continued with school!)

I, on the other hand, had a “complete” family unit. Full of love, we didn’t seem to ‘lack’ for anything…but somehow I "felt out of place" (through my own doings, my own heart, no fault of my family). I had different interests, different dreams & goals than my siblings. I struggled to find where I belonged, also. I built “forts” in the heavy woods & spent many long hours alone there. Reading, drawing, thinking & dreaming. It was my "secret" hiding place. I worked as soon as I was able, from babysitting, housecleaning, dishwashing, sign making, car hopping, to have the things that I wanted…different than what was provided for. I was a challenge, I'm sure for my folks. I married right out of high school..into a very "dominating" situation. My babies came along early…and I still was not “ME”…who ever that was! Shortly thereafter, to prove to others, and mostly to myself, that I was an individual with an independent mind & heart, I went to college. THERE is where I began to ‘find myself’. Thanks to a wonderful Advisor who egged me on to find “that person”.
I walked away with nothing, (except for the kids) from the"Good Life"
(in most peoples way of thinking) never looking behind....

My Cowboy & I met at a cross roads in each of our lives.
I was getting a divorce…so I could learn to be Me!

My Cowboy hadn’t found who HE was yet…to that point.

By some lucky turn of fate, we met~ and INSTANTLY knew we were “kindred souls”, as we danced our first dance 'for the rest of our lives', together. (remember Anne Murray's song? "Could I have this dance.." )
Because of our pasts, the life long quests to know who we were, where we belonged~~ through each other, we were able to solve that mystery! We found that we shared a common ground to build our life, our ideals, our dreams on....
we found that place in life where we belonged!

This is where “Our Life” begins…

The kids were young when we started our lives together. We never had vacations, fancy clothes, or many material things. We had food on the table, a roof over our heads (or a tent at times), we did the best we could with what we were blessed. When gifts were given, they were simple. Baby calves, handmade quilts from old remnants, to name a few.
Our home had discipline, respect & love!
We 'participated' in the kids lives~ from schoolwork to sports, gymnastics, school plays & concerts...(many times standing in the back against the wall, as Hubby would be 'fresh' from work at a dairy, a horse ranch, a day unloading semi's of hay, or a day spent shoeing horses. In case you don't know, all of these are quite smelly..when in the confines of a warm building with lots of people! The kids could always 'smell' that we were there tho! )
The Kids 'participated' in our lives~from gathering the winter wood supply, chores with the animals, to helping inside & outside. We lived, we cried, we laughed, we pondered, we planned, we shared everything....even to the point the kids knew where we stood financially, which was reality! We hid nothing.
In answer to your questions, several things come to mind & in no particular order, as they prioritised themselves when necessary.
1) Work ethic. Set by example! You work no matter what!…sick, broken bones, etc. (We’ve done it all!) Work, whether for the relationship, the paycheck or for survival. Work, for your dreams, your life! Give it your all & then 1,000 times more! Take pride in all you do & be your own best and worst critic. Work together for mutual needs & goals, side by side. And yes, the kids worked with us, ... for survival. We worked as a family to live, to play, to respect & to love each other. I cannot emphasize ~work~ enough! Life is about work....
"No person who is enthusiastic about his work has anything to fear from life." -- Samuel Goldwyn
2) Consistency. Say what you mean, do what you say! Don’t allow temptations, peers, frustrations, a weak heart, or a tired mind veer you from your words & actions.
3) Dream! Whether you change them a million times or two times…dreams provide for perseverance. Dreams allow for creativity. Dreams create a path for guidance through the roads of life. You can do anything..if you believe in your dreams strong enough! Believe in yourself!
4) Common Sense. Use your mind, use your heart wisely. Think! Think! and then Listen to it! To survive and to achieve -your inner self is the wisest & it gives you strength & know-how.
5) Love and mean it! Give it! Receive it and Give it some more!!! Be supportive of those you love. Be there for them in times of need, times of fear or sadness; be there to shoulder their burdens. Be there to share their daily joys, their accomplishments. Just ALWAYS BE THERE!
6) Practice the 3 ‘R’s: Respect, Responsibility, Reward!
Respect: Show respect to others and yourself, listen & learn. Respect life & the environment because we are given only one shot at it. Take only what you truly need & replenish whenever, wherever-the best that you can.
Responsibility: You must be responsible for YOUR own actions! Given choices, means to choose responsibly.. because YOU must be accountable for your actions. ALWAYS!!!
"You are free to choose, but the choices you make today will determine what you will have, be, and do in the tomorrow of your life." -- Zig Zigler
Reward: even the smallest of things! Praise well! Reward gives confidence, builds stamina & empowers the mind, body & soul! And Rewards bring smiles! Smiles brighten the world!
I'm not trying to paint a rosy picture, because it was not always so easy as I just wrote. There were plenty of times of turmoil, struggles, tears and pain. We all had our times when throwing in the towel would have been easier! There were times we didn't like each other very much! But, when push came to shove.......we ALWAYS, ALWAYS loved one another! We'd fight to the death for each other, we'd bend over backwards for one another. We were solid together, empowered by each other.......so we never got too far off course in our lives, our survival, as a strong family unit. Arm in arm, we walked through life.....and still do!
The four of us, we're a force to be reckoned with, we could move a mountain if the need or will arose!

I cannot resist adding this quote:
"The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life " .. William Morris

17 comments:

LL said...

See? Just as I suspected... ;)

Of all these, consistency and individual responsibility are the greatest teachers and instill lasting values.

Without those, all of the others will fail.

karenhappywoman said...

Dear Barb,
I can hardly express how honored I feel you taking the time and effort writing this incredible story! I started reading your life story first and was deeply moved by it. What you wrote is inspiring and encouraging. The way you and your "cowboy" have chosen to live deserves respect and you both have been great role-models for the children. I dare say we share a lot of values in spite of living on different continents. Bringing these values to those who are looking for a deeper meaning and a higher cause in their lives will do for me as a life long goal.

Patti said...

So when's your book coming out? :)

LL said...

Now THAT'S a good question!

The W.O.W. factor said...

Patti..Why would you ask? You wouldn't buy it! You are family!:)

Karen..(& LL) Thank you! for making me think deep into my heart. I've just LIVED life the best I could without thinking or 'planning' how I've gotten to where I'm at, or why. Just feel so blessed to be here!

LL..as you suspected, eh?! You must have been raised under these ideals...how'd you know they'd be mine????
Book? LOL!!! I am not an author!

Barb

LL said...

I beg to differ, my dear... I think you are a fine author.

I was raised with a similar set of ideals. When I was young, money was tight, and while I never lacked for anything, we had very little. The things you had you took care of because even as a child there was one over-reaching theme, if you broke it, you didn't have it anymore. No replacements, no whining, you were just out. As a result, I was always mortified when I'd see other kids shoot their toys with bb guns and such. My little mind could not fathom such waste and destruction. Why would they intentionally break something that was theirs? Then you wouldn't have it anymore!

When you have very little, what you have becomes precious and worthy of respect. The more you have, the less you learn to respect anything because you have no inherent responsibility.

I'd read your life's tale (Our Life) and I could tell that you've lived your life with very little in the way of luxuries. Then when I read how you lived in a wall tent and cooked from the dutch ovens, I knew what values your kids were raised with. They probably had few pre-fabricated toys, but I'll wager they amazed you with their forts and stick guns and imaginations in general, because when you have free reign to run and play in the fields and trees, it's a fabulous childhood.

Now look what you've done. I've just wasted a post in your comment section! :P

Pony Girl said...

Thank you for stopping by my site. I have never seen your blog before but I always love discovering new ones! And even at first read, yours appears to be fabulous. I love your perspective and ideals on life. If only more people in this country felt that way.
And I am inspired, as I am currently searching for my very own Cowboy right now! You have given me hope! :)
I'll be back to read more!

JennyC&F said...

Blog well done! WOW: I really needed a breathe of Serinity and I found it here today. THANKS!

The W.O.W. factor said...

Pony Girl~Thank you for the nice feedback. Hang in there girl...HE is out there!

Jenny~I'm glad you stopped by today then & that you found your serenity!

LL~..and for you...thanks for "understanding"! It's a shame, really, that our ideals aren't as wide spread as they should be.

Raising Country Kids said...

Beautiful post. So few parents teach their kids accountability anymore.

Thanks for stopping by! I'm not that great at responding to comments (especially during this busy time of year), but I go blog hopping when I can.

Rue said...

I'm so glad you decided not to lurk and instead speak up on my blog! I love yours. You SHOULD write a book! I'm definitely going to come back :)

rue

OneCowgirl said...

What a beautiful post...I love your ideals, elegantly stated and right to the point!!

The W.O.W. factor said...

Onecowgirl~ Thx for visiting & your nice comment!!

Rue~Glad you stopped here too! Don't think a book is in order..if I put all my thoughts & elements & ordeals of our life together...don't think people are really up to that! Not sure they'd believe either!

Raising Country Kids~you are right about the Kids & Accountability!

gel(Emerald Eyes) said...

My goodness, this is one great story of perseverance, independence, and living your values. Determination is your and your cowboy's middle name, spiced with love, respect, and guts!
What a love story!
BTW, Gem and I love to waltz to "May I Have This Dance?" for the rest of my life...

hugs,
gel

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