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Today, I went on a rampage in the garden wielding a pair of scissors!
I thought if I packaged them real purty like, I could give boxes of Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers fresh from A Cowboy's Wife's garden ~
*****
HOW TO: If you want some before Christmas
**snicker, snicker...
Melt baker's chocolate in double boiler.
Fill molds halfway with chocolate, add grasshoppers,
fill rest of the way.
A tasty surprise in every one!
*****
Place your orders now if you want my surplus!
OK...let the chasing begin!
I put on my racing shoes,
(and mind you, I NEVER wear shoes, so this was meant to be hard core competition!)
donned my knee pads for the crashes I knew awaited me,
And headed for the gate!
Bucket and scissors in tow!
The Game is on fellars! Here comes the tough Cowboy's Wife!
"....ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles. And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go...."
(Oh, those are Johnny Horton's words...
and besides...rabbits DO go where I am about to go!)
I made a wide sweep around the corn stubble, through the strawberry patch.
Danged!
These grasshoppers wanted to play a wild game of "Catch me if you can”!
Given that I had nothing better to do today, (if you believe that, I have ocean front property to sell you right here in the Palouse!) and with grandiose visions of the approaching “season of sugar plums” dancing in my head…or at best…Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers,
I advised them that I was up for a full eight innings…more if required!
After the ‘trip’, ooops, around the 3rd row of stubble, collecting my footing,
fist still curled...
I opened the fingers ..and.. lo and behold! Ten catches in one!
Hey, this is going to be fun!
So, I crouch low, sneak around the jungle of tomato bushes,
and dove into the compost pile!
Howdy Doody! Now I have 28 in the bucket!
I’m not tuckered yet nor am I suffering any pain, so let’s keep playing!
Tromping through the bean patch (because I am soooo done with them!)
I managed to tackle 33 more of these feisty varmints.
The bucket is yet to be heavy in numbers, so let’s continue!
Once more around the strawberries, through the carrots that refused to produce
(I just know where I planted them) ...up to the zucchini! 
May as well trash through them I figured,
even the chickens are tired of ‘em!
Onward and upward!
Stumbling through the mighty Dill, scattering seeds to wind…....
oh well, next year my whole garden will grow already pickled!
Tiptoeing through the cantaloupe.....
(no I wasn’t thinking of Tiny Tim’s Tulips...but since you mentioned it...)
Tiptoe to the window, by the window that is where I'll be..........and leaping over the peppers I finally decide to call it quits, there are more than enough for dipping in chocolate...for the trip to Grandmother's house!
Oh...I am the Grandmother...come on over and get your
Over the river and through the woods
To Grandmother's house we go.The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh, Through white and drifted snow.
Over the river and through the woods,Oh, how the wind does blow.It stings the toes and bites the nose. As over the ground we go.
Over the river and through the woods, To have a full day of play.
Over the river and through the woods,Trot fast my dapple gray;
Over the river and through the woods, And straight through the barnyard gate.
Over the river and through the woods, Now Grandma's cap I spy.
Oops, I almost forgot, there are those gorgeous red beets over yonder!
I'll bet there are more than 100 of these 'dying to be' Chocolate critters in there...
OK...One more round guys!
Here I come!
The Cheering crowd of pumpkins was driving me on!
Even the competition was slithering out of my way!
I'm running towards the finish line!
Beets! Here I come, yield into my bucket, those grand grasshoppers!
!
!
!
!
OUCH!!!!
!
!
!
!
Game is over....
I lose!
No Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers for the giving at Christmas!
Garden is trashed!
And I don't care..
Beets are the end of my gardening career for this year of 2008...
Yep.....
You know those danged scissors I was wielding around?
GOT ME!!!!
Snipping the leaves off the beets!
Cut right through the band-aid & into my two day old Pinkie wound that has yet to quit throbbing when abused & made it bigger yet!!
Anyone got a knife? Oh...I forgot, I do
...someone want the job of chopping the durned thing off so it's out of my way??? I won't even charge you!
Wonder what it is....about me, my Pinkie, and RED food???
....how's that TW?
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