Where's the song ~~ "Don't let your daughters grow up to marry a Cowboy" ?

​​​​​​​Life is tough! Requires hard physical work, long, long days of pain, dirt, and broken fingernails.​
​Days of frigid cold & scorching heat; through the dust & mud; daybreak into the darkness of nite~~​
​the heart & body becomes toughened & weathered replicating leather!​
​A forever constant factor for a real Cowboy's Wife is tons of sweat, oceans of tears and a constant 'drought' in the wallet!​
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​​​​​​​​​IF​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ she wants to spend anytime at all with her Cowboy, she must do as he does, you become partners!​
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​​​​​​Kick off your boots, grab a cup of coffee, sit back and envision yourself in my life!​
​... It really isn't that bad! There are many rewards to be had to make it a great lifestyle! ...​ ​​​​​​​

Sunday, January 4, 2009

What the heck...

...I've spilled my guts before!

Ok…who the heck Scrapped me?? Far too many of you I'd say!
What in tarnation are you all trying to tell me anyhow?
In my book, Scrapping is what you do with something that’s old or no longer useful
for it’s original purpose…like Scrap Iron, Scrap paper, table scraps…
What’s a person like me supposed to think?
Geez!
So you think you want Scraps of me?
Well, hope you don’t regret Scrappin’ this ol’ gal!
I can come back to haunt you, you know!

I've thought long and hard as to whether I'd do this or not.
I then remembered that some of you already know more about me
than my own family does~ as since the beginning of my blogging last May,
it's been no holds barred as my fingers tap away at the keyboard!
So, here's some more dirt on me.
*
Just be sure to fill the hole back in when you are done reading!
Shovel will be provided!
Start Diggin' my friends...

1) I may be a short, lightweight, lefty…but don’t let that fool you! Cowboy always warns people that dynamite comes in small packages! I can hold my own with most men, pull more than my own weight, stand tall for what I believe in and punch with my right if necessary! (I’m sure for these reasons, I won’t be caring for myself by the time I’m 60-70…but then, someone had better shoot me!
If there are any takers on this deed, we can sign a contract now, so I can rest easy...)

2) I tend to hold my anger or frustrations inside. In all honestly, I’ve only totally ‘lost it’ 3 times in my life! Twice with Hydro (daughter). First was when she was 8..she threatened to jump off the rail of a bridge into a dry creek... (She was mad at me for something). Running towards her, with willow branch waving , she got off and ran up an embankment like a deer! I was hot on her tail with my blood boiling! Unfortunately, my endurance could not match a spry 8 year olds. I was exhausted by the time I got to the top where she stood so smug, all I could do was hug her! Not out of love…but for needing to hang on and catch my breath and wits!
Second time was during those trying “mother/daughter” years (I'm still amazed my Mom survived 3 girls!). One evening I was so angry (hmmm..can’t remember why now though) , I stormed flew out of my room, charged at her with my finger wagging and tongue flailing as she sat in a rocker in front of ceiling to floor windows…she honestly thought I was going to shove her out through the glass…and I wanted to.
My third time of cutting loose was with Cowboy! 20+ years ago.....before he quit drinking...hence he hasn't drank since!

3) I dreamed since I was a young girl ~of having my own Nursery/Greenhouse. Becoming a Cowboy’s wife as I did, meant following the Cowboy way, not getting my fingers in the dirt of my choosing! You must move and move again to where ever a Cowboy needs to go. Where the work is! We have moved 22 times in our years. Bought, built and/or remodeled (100% with our own hands)...7 of those times. If there was anything already hinting of “landscaped”…I’d hand dig it all up and start with my own ideas. I planned & planted. I watched my endeavors spring to life, become as I dreamed they be! Just as they’d begin to flourish~it was time to move again. That's as close to my dreams I've ever gotten.
(3 ½: I never totally unpack everything!)

4) I went to college and became a Paralegal. I needed to prove to "someone" in my life…that I was capable! That I deserved to be treated as a valued person; that I warranted respect. While going to college full time, working full time…and never ever neglecting the young lives of my children....
I didn’t get much sleep in those days…heck I still don’t.....
I learned a valuable lesson because of my Advisor. To be assertive! And assertive I became!
I divorced "the reason" I needed to go to college! (Yep…I was married before!) I never went on to pursue that career, because I had accomplished my goal! And it felt wonderful! I began to actually live & breathe again! Then I met Cowboy….and with like #3, a Paralegal career would not fit into that lifestyle.
And I didn’t care! I have no regrets.

5) I’m a self taught ‘electrician’! Electricity bothers me NOT! I wired and rewired those houses I talked about in #3. (Cowboy fears electricity!) Each time I passed inspection the first time! I am the designated electric fence tester. I can grab hold and hang on without care! Electrical things in my life have a very short life span. Toasters, irons, sewing machines, handheld phones, curling irons, hair dryers, (like I ever need these!), coffee pots, (my trusty Bunn is the only one that survives my coffee passion…the 3 I’ve owned have each lasted a min. of 4 years! Others…a max. of 4 weeks!). The list goes on and on including computers. I have ‘fried’ 2 of my own and 3 at jobs I’ve held.
Warning, never hire me if you want your computer to live!

6) My Cowboy and others call me an Artist. That is a HUGE title, one which I’ve yet to acknowledge. Pencil is one I prefer, etching on scratchboard is another. I give it all away to who ever thinks they want it. I have kept a few of my favorites and only when we moved here, 3 years ago, would I allow them to hang on my walls. (I am my own worst critic). I love working with wood and building things. Outside? Nature and it's gifts provides me another palette to get creative with! I took up stained glass last winter, making my own patterns and teaching myself as I learned, burned & cut myself, broke and cussed at many shards! Funds and economy stopped me in my tracks, from pursuing it again this winter.

7) I am a perfectionist! And I hate myself for it sometimes! A few hints....when I edge my lawn…I use an old kitchen knife & scissors, while on my hands and knees to making the “perfect” curve or straight edge.
When I paint walls (which I love to do. I am forever changing the colors in my house)...I use a tiny artist brush at the ceilings, the floor, around the trims & tiny 'surprises' sprinkled about. Takes me hours and hours. I tolerate no ‘slips’ or misses!
Cleaning? A toothbrush and my hands and knees are my companion! These days I make sure I have my reading glasses on so I miss not a single speck!

8) Yet…at the same time as #7…I can walk away when I see my quest has come to completion…..almost! The last 1-2” of a hand painted design on a bedroom wall will never be finished; a picture or stained-glass creation will lie tossed to the side and never be framed until someone else lays claim to it. The end product looks just like I envisioned, albeit 99.9% completed! I need no more than that.

9) I could be a vegetarian easily. I am pretty (ridiculously) finicky about my meat! Corn fed beef (done our way!) and hung for 30 days (costs more though but worth every dime or rather dollar!) on my orders or I won’t patronize that butcher, cut NO fat off! Pork MUST have fat also! I cannot eat store bought pork or beef! Or most other people’s idea of GOOD meat!

Better put on and pull up your waders....this one is deep!

10) If I were alone…I would live at the ocean. The Pacific...Oregon shores are the best!
I’d walk the sandy beaches barefoot. I’d allow the crashing waves to tackle my ankles.
I’d inhale the salty sea mist and listen as the gulls cry through the skies.
I’d have a little cozy cottage, complete with a fireplace to curl up by.
I’d write, I’d draw, I’d read, I’d quilt, I’d blog!
Rain or shine!!
I'd live on tacos and PB & J's...& coffee of course!
I L-O-V-E the ocean…the peace it brings me.
And.....
Now, hang on to your saddles here …those of you who love them…I would never have to see, speak or hear the word HORSE again! On MY turf!
Without going into a ton of detail for my reasons (I've got 30+ years of pent up reasons!)
...HORSE means: broke in the wallet, too many hours of people, time dominance, restrictive & obtrusive, damage, pain ....I'll stop here as I'm sure I just dug my hole deeper here...but that's me and my guts spilling.....


Now that I’ve been ‘forced’ into scrapping my life…
I thought it would be harder to do and then I had to start eliminating,
would anyone care to pick up the pieces, glue them back together so
I can start all over again?
Nope, dumb question…I don’t want to start over!
*
I would not change my life!
I may not always like the life that I have,
but I always love my Cowboy and our life together!
**
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*
*
Here's your shovel, as I promised~now start filling the dirt back in!
If you feel inclined? Go dig up some dirt of your own,
scrap yourself on your blog for us to read!

While you are at it....please shovel my snow too!


Thanks!


**EDIT: 1/7/09**..if you feel the need to leave a judgmental email instead of a comment, please go here first.

42 comments:

Jamie said...

Wow! Congrats on being Scrapped! Great list too!

Tatersmama said...

Holy Cow ! I bow to the Master! That was terrific and I just loved loved loved it !

I'm aiming to get me a Bunn, so I'll need to keep an eye on ebay au. - because Au electricity is different from US. :o( Why do they have to be so contrary when it comes to something as important as coffee?
I miss my good coffee, almost as much as I miss my mind !

Gail said...

What an amazing soul-bearing post!

You are one tough bird and I am proud to know you!

Elliemae said...

Barb-

I love it! All of it! I have this lamp I need you to rewire...
I'm coming to see you so you can teach me how to grow lavendar, rewire things, quilt and do stained glass.
As a horse lover, I can still sympathize with your feelings...horses are very demanding...mine gives so much back to me though that I overlook it. p.s. sometimes I imagine what I'd do if I were alone too...doesn't mean you don't luv your huz. Great post lady!

Gail said...

Award awaiting...thanks! Gail

Christina said...

mmmmmmmmmm..... wow.... speechless!

I am in more awe and wonder of you than ever! I wonder if Cowboy has any inkling of what he has in you????? I took every last scrap of you and put them in my smile memory folder! Dang, I wish the west coast weren't so dog gone far from the east coast! My hat is off to you, my friend! Keep being you! (((((hugs))))))

Heidi said...

You are SUCH a neat person!! This was a true insight to your inside!!! LOL *HUGS**

Cactus Jack Splash said...

Wow, that was great. Very interesting stuff and very well worded.

The Blonde Duck said...

I could live on PJs and tacos too. And I can't believe you are a self-taught electrician. I'd shock myself!

BeeContent Ranch said...

Gracious and Egads....we have GOT to be related...no way we could just by chance think alike!!!
You sound like my mama (al of 4 feet 11 inches and 95 pounds soaking wet! My dad use to call her the Italian Midget...and you best lookout when she DOES get mad...huh...sounds like me, but I am a tad bigger !!!
Well, now I know who I'll call when I need to do anything electrical !
Thanks for "scrappin'"..and here's to a safe and happy New Year !
And let me know if you ever make it to the ocean....that's my favorite dream too!!

terri said...

You have the best attitude. "I may not always like the life that I have,but I always love my Cowboy and our life together!"

That is some deep down perspective! I need some of it as I am currently hating my surroundings and the weather and they tend to take over my attitude at times. I just needed a reminder to remember what's really important. Thank you!

prairierunner said...

You are pretty scrappy! I loved it! I'm the designated fence tester here to. He say it just jumps out and bites him.
I'l like to see some of your work to b.t.w. you should post some. Please!

Caffienated Cowgirl said...

An electrician??? Now that's cool :) Can I send you some old lamps to rewire? ;)

Train Wreck said...

See I knew you were all that and a bag o chips!Talented lady. Now that is how to scrap. I am not so good at memes, I forget untill I read others post, Oh I can do that. Not the electrical part! No way I would shock the shi...I wouldn't be any good at it.

Broken Y said...

W.O.W.! That was indeed a load of scrap! hahaha! I hate it when I laugh at my own jokes!

You are a living testament of "tough"! I'm glad you got rid of "someone" and realized you don't have to prove squat to anyone! Please bring your toothbrush - I am not a perfectionist!

DesertHen said...

Barb......WOW!! Loved reading your "scrap" list. I enjoyed getting to know more about you. I love your idea of living at the ocean...it has always been a favorite of mine....to walk along the sand, to enjoy the peace that the waves and sounds of the ocean bring...a cottage, with fire, books, pen and paper to write...a lovely idea indeed.

If you would so kindly come and paint my house...I will gladly come and shovel your snow..=)

Oh and gotta love a Bunn....we had one that lasted for about six years, then the hardwater ate the seal away and it would leak all over the counter. I miss not having a Bunn.

Wishing you a lovely Sunday.

Glenda, saved by grace said...

I tip my hat to you Lady!
I want to, want to paint...I have so many rooms that need it, but I just don't want to. I may try the small small brush in the corners, also I really need a good electrician to get ALL the recessed lighting out of my pad! I hate it, even when it does work.
Anyhow , I just wanted to say that if your ever in this eastern part of Texas, I'll pay you in food to work! Ha!
Great post Barb!

The Wife said...

Okay, so now I know you can never come to my house cause my cleaning skills come nowhere close to your standards!

Those were great scraps ya gave us. You hold your own in every light. You're such a strong woman. I bow down to you!

Rising Rainbow said...

I edge my lawn with a knife too. It's the best way! My husband thinks I'm nuts but what does he know? LOL

Ice Pony Goddess said...

wow...what a list! hey..i have some barn lights that need attention.HA!

LL said...

WOWie, WOWie, WOWie... whatever am I to do with you?

Far Side of Fifty said...

I love your thoughts! Your last one on the beach spoke to my soul..other than the PB and J every day.. the tacos sound great! There are few places on this earth I have ever felt peaceful..despite the sound of the surf on the Oregon Coast it remains one of my favorite places:)

JennyLu said...

WoW - Lets take this one to a time
1)Big things come in little packages, that is why you have a heart of GOLD
2)Got Red Hair, your allowed to loose it
3)True Love
4)Something to fall back on I.C.E.
5)You can't use my computer
6)Be proud of your work.
7)So... THAT's how you REALLY severed your finger last summer
8)Sue's room (the house was built in 1997) has not been painted yet, there is some primer on it but for the most part, Dry Wall, wanna come visit?
9)You can aclamate. It took me about three years to be able to eat meat out of the grocery store without vomiting! I grew up on a 430 acre dairy farm and we butchered a cow every so often!
10) We could be famous friends! The beach, taco's and coffee with PPJ for desert or breakfast. LOL

Luvs ya lady! Loved today's blog! ~hugs~ Jenn

PS I sent you an email from my MSN email addy the other day, did you get it? I am having problems with the ega one (Won't support this browser for reply)

Lil Mama said...

I want to be like you when I grow up.

Jocelyn said...

I agree with Lil Mamma I totally wanna be like you when I grow up.

I love horses, but I cold live without them too. Esp when she racks me up another vet bill. Knock on wood.

Freak Magnet said...

Dang.. You are one amazing woman, but I already knew that! I agree fully about the Oregon beaches. I have never been on beaches more beautiful in this country. The smooth sand between the toes, the frigid, brisk water washing up and crashing on the beach and that endless horizon.... Aaahhhhh ... You just took me there for a much needed break.

Angelena said...

What a great post! We went to the beach once, I loved it- hubby hated it. Not enough farm land he said. lol.

I hear ya on the horses- sometimes I feel the same way about our cows. Especially when it is freezing cold and they need fed Ugh!

Tessa said...

Barb! You rock our world, gurl! I love, love, love the way you just say it like it is. Those are the bestest scraps I've ever read in my whole entire life. Love ya...and Happy, Happy New Year!

Kimberly said...

I love reading your post! I always come away with nuggets and things to ponder on!

Kimberly

My Wonderful Men said...

Here I thought I was going to have to read your entire blog to get to know you since I was new and all. But this was great! Thanks for sharing.

oregontribal1 said...

I know just how you feel on the horse thing! I love them, wish I still had them but......glad I don't for the work is soooo much! DodgeMan wants a couple if and when we can ever afford them?? As for the Oregon Coast; we are planning a weekend getaway for Valentine's weekend. We never had a proper Honeymoon, maybe this time finally?!
I have always loved little coastal towns; I loved Morro Bay, Ca growing up and all the Spanish Missons along the way. Never found a coastal town in Oregon I have loved as much; but then I have another 40 years to find what pleases me most!! Take care of you good to see you're back! Happy New Year!!! Teresa

JennyLu said...

Wowie - I put two pic's up for you of what is poking through the ground with our last week of sunshine, rain, and 70' weather. No, it is not the balls... Hint, it is green

Egghead said...

Barb I loved this. When you talk about horses and the Oregon Coast it could have been me saying those exact words. If I could hole up and write and read in a little beach cabin I would be in heaven.

Robynn said...

I love it that you laid it out, shooting straight from the lip. I'm humbled to know you and to think you signed on to my blog as a follower. What a woman.

The kids and I went to Bellingham a couple of years ago, and will go there this August. On our way back down we meandered the Oregon Coast and fell in love. Also enjoyed Whidbey Island in Washington and especially Coupeville. I sat in a tiny little mom 'n' pop place sipping my java and eating lingonberry pie. Out my window, and down below, I watched my kiddoes sort through a bazillion tiny, little crabs and watched their hair blow in all different directions. I'll go with you to the beach and bring my sketchpad.

wordmama said...

Barb, just when I think you've impressed the heck outta me, you go and raise the bar again. You are one amazing woman. I hope one day I can meet you in person, sit down with a good cup of coffee and learn even more about you. Thanks for opening up so eloquently and honestly!

Janice Thomson said...

A fantastic post Barb - loved reading about a few things that make up the real you.
Oh yeah - glad to know I'm not the only one who uses a kitchen knife and the scissors to do the trim :)
I love the ocean too - that's why I moved here - was forty some years old before I ever touched foot in the Pacific Ocean - a memory I'll have till my dying day.
We're very much alike in some ways Barb - maybe some day I'll have the honor of meeting you...

Braja said...

Awww....#9? All my little babies say thank you :)))

XoXo Punchy! said...

THAT was an amazing and revealing and as usual beautiful post! Congrats "scrappy"!

Alex said...

Wow...very brave to make a post like this!! Very compelling and moving.

Shirley said...

Barb, thanks for baring your soul; that takes guts, but we all know you're not short in that department. #2 really made me laugh!#4,well I think you sure are capable and the life you're living proves it.#6, I really want to make things out of old wood; maybe I should visit you and get some hands on learning! #8; you're just like my husband! #10, I love the ocean too. The sound is incredibly soothing and very conducive to prayer. My only difference is that my vision would include riding my horse through the surf....bareback, bridleless...

Andrea said...

I popped over here from Mrs. Mom's blog, and you know what? I got sick and tired of horses too. I loved them, went to college for them, got a degree from riding them, started my own business, training and lessons, and then guess what....I hated them. I didn't want to ride, I hated my lessons not showing up or not paying, and I hated my clients begging to ride an unbroke colt and telling me what to do. But at least that client paid!! LOL!! So, what did I do? I got out of it. Sold my horses and a lot of junk. Then I moved to Louisiana, met a bullrider and bought one old TB mare. I know ride when I want to and if I don't want to I don't have to. I finally enjoy them again.

Oh, and can you please come to my house and make some stuff out of wood for me please? I could really used an entry way table, and a club house for the boys!! LOL!!

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