....the gift I received from Prof,
whilst I wait for a higher Internet connection speed.
(I fired DISH, by the way... the other day, for wasting my time & anticipation...for the numerous "no-show" days of unfulfilled obligation!)
I now wait for our local phone company, who provides Wild Blue also, without the 18 month contract. Yesterday, he came to determine where the contraption will be put without interferences.
Maybe tomorrow, maybe Monday..there is no promise.
This gifted book "Montana Women Writers...A Geography of the Heart" has entrapped me and completely enthralled me, from the Introduction, through the Preface and into the lives and stories of these women writers. No wee hour blogging, just the wee hours spent stepping back into time, reliving their lives, walking in their shoes and memories. Envisioning the portraits they've painted through their words.
I have been there. I have lived those times. I have felt those pains. I have endured those hardships. I have shared those joys and spent those tears. I have seen their visions and experienced their delusions.
~~~~~
Today it is scorching, only to sear higher the next few days (so much for "The Breath of Fall...").
I decided to spend the day unearthing my journals, my jotted notes, my words in time. The boxes have become as traveled and tattered as I have. They've endured dusty trails, snow covered paths, leaking domains. They have rested in some uninhabitable places (to most) and withstood the exposure of weather.
Yet their contents remain vivid, so truly real, expressing emotions and events as though they are playing out today. I've never been organized in keeping them safe. Some are in incomplete journal books, while others may be scribbles on a torn piece of paper; written in half filled tablets of all sizes, and on notebook papers galore. They are in no particular order. I never meant to chronicle my life nor do I believe it could be.
Today, sitting on the floor, with dusty boxes and scatters of paper surrounding me.....
I have decided to put some of my life out "there"...thinking someday I could possibly put an order to it....
....but probably not!
~~~~~
My life as Cowboy's Wife has seen no particular order or structure.
Life for me has been random.
Each day could have been a moment of yesterday, or relived a year ago.
My thoughts could be of a tomorrow not yet arrived or maybe the same of a decade ago.
My words show me that my life has been timeless. There was no beginning and there is no end. Circumstances, time, the heart and soul lead to the past, the present and the future.
They do not dissipate my life.
They are carefully wound around each other, some in twisted knots, and others smooth as silk...for they ARE who I am.
* * * * * * *
From time to time...maybe more than not...
My words of time will be scrawled here..."From My Journals...."
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