We Can Choose Our Friends...

…yet we cannot choose our family!
A bittersweet reality...in our life.

****WARNING****
If you are looking for a smile or to enjoy that cup of coffee in hand,
you may want to leave and visit someone else's blog.
This is MY rant, from MY heart.

Before I explain, let me explain!

A brief history:
Cowboy’s mom died when he was 6. His Real Brother, (RealB) was 10 months old.
FIL married a widower almost right away. She had 5 children.
One of which, I will call StepB (Step-brother).
FIL passed away 2 years ago last month. We were very close and he lived not too far from us.
Cowboy was not ‘close’ to either of the brothers.
RealB, we had not seen in about 9 years until FIL’s passing.
StepB, we had not seen in over 20 years until FIL’s passing.
(we had never met his now 14 year old son “K”.)
*
StepB called out of the blue while Cowboy was gone.
It had been 2 years since last hearing from him.
He and his son were drawn for the late White Tail deer hunt in our area.
“Could they come over and hunt and thus his son “K” could meet us?”.
RealB would be coming too, with one son “C", because StepB needed a driver as he lost his driver’s license due to a DUI.
I told him my ‘rules’…and he agreed to them.

Both brothers are “injured” and drawing off of the ‘system’…labor and industries which goes against our beliefs~knowing their cases.
(This is one HUGE issue I will NOT go into!).
*
The brothers and sons arrived here the 8th, before Cowboy
returned from his school.
It was a nice reunion after 2 years!
We were pleased to finally meet “K”; to see “C” again, now 17.
Cowboy and I were hoping that these 2 brothers had done a lot of ‘growing’ up over the years and we were thrilled to have this time with them.
I had high hopes that maybe, just maybe, Cowboy could fill the vacancy in his heart, build a relationship with these two, as he only has a few cousins left to call family.
*
They told me they brought food and that they don’t expect me to do all of the cooking. “Great!”...I thought.
*
..WELL…
*
Saturday, these brothers and their boys were asked told to leave Sunday.
(Terri... No these “family hunters” were NOT appreciative! The other hunters Yes!)
*
This “family” of hunters brought one casserole that would feed 2 people
...and nothing else!!
Each night after hunting, they would plow through my doors, never shutting them , traipse around in their muddy feet, and call out “What’s for dinner?”
Each night, I’d kick them back out to the mud room to take off their muddy clothes, boots and to wash up! They never “got it”!
“K” did…but he was different than the other 3. “K” was very respectful.
Yes, the 14 year old!
In those horrific 8 days…I never received one thank you, not one!
(except from “K”).

I was seething! Each day I was getting closer and closer to grabbing one of their guns to shoot every bloody insolent bone in their torsos…and then some!!
I don’t have high blood pressure…but I might now!
*
Tuesday and Wednesday, the other seven hunters had left.
Luckily for everyone here, they had brought enough food to feed an army.
They had cleaned up after themselves, and never showed an ounce of disrespect for me or our home. I received a huge thank you after each meal and many hugs of gratitude when they left.
A magnificent bunch of guys! They are welcome in my home anytime!!
* * *
Now~ what do I cook? Four extra guys who brought nothing!
Two guys who’s wives work, two guys who draw more than several grand a piece, from the state each month with ‘play time & free money’ galore.

(I am going to be blunt here…)
We have food enough to last US…for awhile…until the economy turns around or something changes in our world.
We have a three (3) digit income each month right now.
There is NO room for recklessness, waste, or frivolous wants in the food department. It is the disposables such as produce, butter, milk, eggs, coffee, etc (not to forget the electricity bill) that we must ration with excruciating caution.
EVERY. Single. Shiny. Copper. Penny. Is scrutinized!

I am a light sleeper, so their nightly rampages through my frig and pantry,
eating anything they found, caused my hackles to rise.
Any other time, I may not have thought too much about it, and just let it pass. But we cannot afford this now and I’ve been very vigilant in my management of our food, to get us through these hard times.
The brothers were told. Yet, they could not or would not, respect our situation.
*
Friday night after supper, StepB asked RealB if he would take him to an 'AA' meeting 45 miles away.
“Would it be Ok if the boys stayed with us?”.
I was glad to have the brothers leave!
“K” sat and chatted with me and I helped him with his homework.
I love that youngster! He is the gem of the bunch!
“C”, on the other hand, ignored his homework, went upstairs and goofed around with the TV and literally blew it up!
YES! Smoke and all!
I don't know what would cause that...but he did whatever it took!
That was after, we heard him up there horsing around, hence popping one of the airbeds we had! He is 17 years old, remember!

I am at my blistering point! And I didn’t know I had one!

I went to bed. Frustrated and livid, I tossed and I turned.
Four a.m. rolls around and I hear the 2 brothers pull in. They are in the kitchen going through who knows what, making all kinds of racket.
Cowboy is such a sound sleeper, he heard none of it.
No, they didn’t go to an 'AA' meeting anywhere!
They went and got themselves drunk!
Six a.m. comes around, “K” and “C” are ready to be out to hunting again.
They convince their dads to head out by eight a.m.
I’m lying in bed listening and ... fuming!
I haven’t slept much this week, not a good sleep anyhow.
(I am still not sure why I didn’t have a heart attack, or go on that shooting spree!)
When I heard them leave, I got up to find my kitchen a mess ~again!
All of the eggs and milk are gone, and the last cube of my butter must have been smothered on their toast made from the last half of a loaf of bread!
$$$ Remember, my closest small store is 35 miles away! $$$

I don’t get mad easily. I usually hold it inside not allowing it to surface.
(I can’t hurt anyone’s feelings that way.)
This morning, the dogs ran and hid from me!
No one else was around and I blew up! I had had all I could take! (I thought..)

Luckily, those brothers stayed out, gone, away in their truck, ALL day.
They did not come back to our property showing their faces around me.
Just before dark, I saw their lights coming across the bridge.
A few minutes later, I saw them backing up to the pine tree. It meant one thing. Someone had got their deer, maybe both tags were filled.
They stayed outside until Cowboy got home.
"Something" was in the air.
"Were they feeling guilty for having lied to me the night before about an 'AA' meeting? "
I just sensed a difference. I didn’t know what.

I had made a pot of vegetable beef & barley soup and homemade rolls for supper.
Cowboy was hungry, as were “K” & “C”.
StepB and RealB didn’t readily come to table.
"Do you think they know by now how thoroughly disgusted and angry I am?
I hope so! I don’t care if they don’t eat! I’d just as soon not even see their faces in my house at that point, or even sitting at our table!"

After a solemn supper, without any conversation whatsoever, the brothers sent the two sons upstairs for their showers while they were next in line, they needed to go take care of the hanging deer. (yes, there were two).

Cowboy stayed in and helped me clean up. He was pretty ‘on edge’ I could tell, as we quietly worked together putting our house in order, as much as we could.
Finally, he took my hand and led me back to our room.
He had something to tell me.

Cowboy had been dayworking for a local rancher the previous 3 days, leaving at 5 a.m. and returning around 6 p.m. Each night, he was seeing my face laden with more stress, my tone shrouded with anxiety.
(I was holding everything in...I thought! After all, these are his brothers! I hoped, beyond hope, that they could build a relationship after all the years of never having had one. Maybe it was my dream…)

Cowboy had been biting his tongue all week too,
but he could not tolerate things any longer either.
The lack of respect for me, for us, for our home was beyond ~out of control!
This day, Saturday, the straw to the camel's back..was broken!
Earlier, standing outside with them when he'd returned from his daywork,
...he learned....

These two brothers had broken too many rules!
LL... Yes, some rules can be broken (fun blogging award rules..*wink )…but not the ones I’m about state.
Cowboy and I firmly believe that the most important word
in the vocabulary of this earth… is RESPECT!

In MY world, hunting dictates:

There must be the exemplary regard for safety! (“C” was not shown or taught this being his first time handling a gun, let alone hunting! I'm still surprised someone was not hurt...or...)
*
Then there is:
Respect for the laws
Respect for the earth you are treading upon
Respect for the owners of those properties you are treading upon
And ultimately ...Respect for the animals you are hunting!

ALL four of these rules were repulsively broken!

There was no asking for permission to hunt on properties and they admitted to Cowboy, of trespassing on those that were posted! This is a small community with vast open lands. These two brothers did not respect the fact that we are a part of this community…and their behavior could come back to haunt US!

That does not sit well with us.

Then, instead of hunting on foot, they drove everywhere! Their excuse was that it was too cold, too wet! They drove on the muddy steep slopes of our countryside, damaging the terrain and the owner’s properties.

UNACCEPTABLE!

Disregard for the laws?

I will not tell you how many of them or which ones they broke.
FAR, FAR too many!

Disrespect for the animals (pheasant & deer)?

I will not disclose because no one needs to feel the same repulsion I feel!

Cowboy, RealB and StepB were all raised by FIL. They were taught the precise rules of safety, the ultimate respect of hunting. They were enforced explicitly.
I have an unrelenting ache in my heart for my dear FIL. I pray that he does not ‘know’ that 2 of the sons he raised, with love and diligence-have tossed his teachings into the wind with total disregard and disrespect!

And what “K” and “C” were taught by their fathers those 8 days?

Abhorrent! Appalling!

After Cowboy finished telling me what he had learned about those past 8 days,
I was a shattered. Worse than I’d been that morning.
My stomach wrenched, the tears would not end.
He went upstairs to tell StepB and RealB they must leave
the next day before I wake up. They agreed.

And guess what?

When I awoke, they were still here!
Not in the house, but they had walked out back to hunt one last time!!
They returned about 2 pm. Empty handed thankfully, because I know at that point,
I would have gone on a shooting spree!!
(I'd be in jail right now, unable to tell you all where I had disappeared to!)

Cowboy told them to get their sh*t together and get out!

Never... Never… again!

Unfortunately, Cowboy’s immediate family unit did not strengthen and rebuild

~it disintegrated ..beyond repair.

It is with bittersweet admission, those other 7 hunters, those wonderful friends whom we’ve shared our lives and our home with, for years….may not be our blood family…but we treasure, respect and embrace them as “our REAL Family”.

I am slowly...putting those 8 days of hell, behind the locked doors of my heart.

I've Never Been Good with Rules...

...so I'm warning you, I'm not about to start!


Let me tell you ahead of time that I am so sorry!
Regrettably, I am so despicably delinquent on posting some things here,

so please don't judge me to be thoughtless or unappreciative.

I'm really not either of those!

I have met so many wonderful people through this medium, and truthfully?

You all know more about me than my own family does, except maybe Hydro,

as I know she and her hubby sometimes catch up on things here.
I'm not really sure why or how it came to be that I've,

so willingly, opened my heart to expose it to the world,

because I am usually an extremely discreet person,

keeping so much of my life buried in the privacy of my own mind.
Quite possibly.......could it be your fault?? hmmm???
So many of you have made me feel at ease, enabling me to speak from my heart.
Regardless, I am so glad that I started this blog back in May!
Being trapped isolated out here, due totally to our chosen lifestyle,

I have very little contact with other humans.
Blogging has been an amazing adventure for me!

Each day I am amazed at the number of talented, loving,

witty people I've come to know!

*
However, I must divulge, I DO NOT like rules!

(That...my folks will attest to for sure!)
I have a tendenacy to do just the opposite of what is expected of me.
Yes, it has put me in deep water at times. Hey! That is why I learned to swim!
I cannot change my ways now…....not here.

This is my excuse..

and I'm sticking to it!

The reason for this post:
THREE Reasons, actually---

REASON #1:AWARDS


I have received some awards that I need to acknowledge and I want to thank everyone who thought of me. I am very beholden to you!
They all come with rules for presenting and passing them though, see?
There is that "Rules" word again!
I cannot, in my heart & in good conscience, pick only a few Blogging Friends to pass these along to! Each and everyone of you are deserving!

(Actually, I think everyone should just go to the site where ever you can find all sorts of awards, pick the ones you want, and give them to yourselves!)
So please, please…believe me when I say I’m giving them to each and everyone of you!!
Whether you have them or not, take them! With my blessings!!

Please!

I got this from Tracy at "Is it a Full Moon, or What?"
I just recently met this Lady who just happens to be a fellow Washingtonian, so that makes her a fantastic person in MY Washington eyes! Go vistit her! She's talented (could have/would have had a career in ballet if some scout wouldn't have burst her bubble! Jerk!), loves,loves, loves- to have fun!... maybe that's why she has the number of kids she does, you gotta go count them yourself!...*wink*

~

This Award was given to me by three great gals. (Third times the charm.. right?)
First...by one of my longest blogging friends! The Professor at "Babble From a Babbler". (do you like the orange Prof? You know why I used it! ) This Lady, I've admired since I met her! Her job, in my eyes, is the most valued in the world! A teacher! (Without them? Scarry!)
She too, is isolated. Only for a short time now though, as she has "Gypsy" running through her veins as I do! At Christmas, she's moving on to hopefully bigger & brighter things! She even needs to change the Image of her blog when she does! I love this gal & I wish her good times, good fortune & all that's good in the world! She deserves it! And Prof...I will continue to follow your life! Through your words and your photos...even though they won't be of Montana any longer.
Second & Third...to give this to me, also gave me this one!


Now I'm not too sure that this was legal in Blogland!
These two Ladies have been lifelong friends and they double whammyied me!

Within a day of each other!(I think they had a vendetta for me, ya think?)
See why I don't like "Rules" ?

Let me present to you Ms Desert Hen of "gravelroadsanddaiquirisinthedirt" and Ms Oregontribal1! of "allthingsoldandnew" (You can find their real names when you visit them!) Desert Hen's life has been a lot like mine. Living with and moving with a Cowboy. I wish she lived closer! Oh the stories we could tell! She does have some catching up to do though...maybe when they've been married this long, they will have moved enough to equal ours. Don't even think about unpacking Lady! This gal even gives chickens baths! Did you realize that was even possible? And then "Styles" their feathers with a blow dryer! (She's really not any weirder than I, so give her a chance!). Oregontribal1 is a gal who gets to live in a part of Oregon that is gorgeous! Her photos and her words express the beauty~ well, beautifully! And she gets to share her life with her folks at the their farm as much as she wants...and she shares the dusty road all the way! For that, she is lucky! She's funny and gorgeous! Both these gals...even though they blog with each other (I haven't a clue if they ever use their phones these days, do you Ladies?) they welcome you like they've known you a lifetime too!

~

This award came from the beautiful and extremely talented young lady at "A Duck in Her Pond". Her favorite color is pink! Why? Because she is a Girly Girl!!...but don't worry, she loves her beef, does that Paint ball stuff, ouch! Not only that, she is witty, loves her dogs, family and Ohhh she loves to share her recipes! This young lady is the most creative, ambitious thing! (it has to be her youth!) I'm not sure how she fits everything into her days! She writes stories like you wouldn't believe! Numerous ones "in progress" at the same time! (Shhh-h-h ...She doesn't know it yet, but my favorite one she's writing, I have first dibs on when it's done...signed by her very own little pink fingers!)

Ok...that is off my shoulders now! Phewwww!
Thank you Ladies, I am glad to have you in my life!
Oh....and "The Rules"that go with these awards?
They were eaten by my delete key! I told you I don't like "Rules".

REASON #2:ANSWERS

I have received many, many emails from my invisible blogging friend and the 'doubly invisible' ones (those who don't like to leave their words in my "Give Me Some Guff" section).
All related to my posts "Surviving Life", and "I Feel I Should Clarify" last month.

I haven't forgotten you, nor am I ignoring you. Life does take precedence and I am working on getting them answered. I am a procrastinator, and if answering them means there are rules about a timely manner, then that is my excuse...

REASON#3:ANGELS

An Angel

From an Angel

Thank you for being here! You don't realize how much your friendship & words mean to me!

I Feel I Should Clarify...

I don't normally allow rivers to fall from my soul!

But do you all know how many tears you caused to fall while reading

your comments and many, many emails filled with questions, concerns & prayers?!

"Too~too many"!

(I thought my dams had been built "Ford-Tough" to withstand anything!)
But I truly feel a deep indebtedness for your thoughts & well wishes.

Having built so many wonderful friendships here,

gives me hope! And fills my heart with peace!

You can't imagaine how thankful I am to have gotten to 'know' you!

~ ~ ~

Now, let me clarify some things in our life...

seeing as how I've opened up so much already to this 'invisible' world...

~ ~ ~

We are NOT waving the white flag of surrender...yet!
We have NOT lost our home or land...yet, and truly hope that doesn't happen!
We ARE survivors! We've been to Hell and back many times throughout our years together and we've always come back tougher, standing on firmer ground.
Of course we are older each time and strength can diminish with age ;(
But for strength, we have faith & we have each other...

and the deepest love for one another that cannot be severed...by anything!
Here's some pieces to the puzzle of Our Life that are NOT in "Our Life" page..

(I'm sorry the following explanation is so lengthy, I just don't know how else to clarify our life)
Debts?
We have a very small mortgage payment, thanks to our sale in AZ at just the 'right' time!

(which includes property taxes & insurance)...equivalent to less than most rents!

1. Utilities
2. Vehicle insurance (required)
3. Bare Bones medical insurance

That's it ...!
What could we cut out?

1. TV Dish Satellite
2. Wild Blue Internet
3. Medical insurance ???

That's it ...!
~ ~ ~
Neither Cowboy or I were "born into" the agricultural world.
Nor were we "born into" money.
We have shared a mutual vision, a dream and a passion for the Pioneering spirit & lifestyle.

That is how we built the foundation of our lives together.

• We have lived in the rugged N. Central Cascades running a pack outfit.
• We have worked for and on ranches.
• Cowboy (w/ Zig & Zag -our original Border Collies) managed the "backside" of the Okanogan Livestock Sales Yard.
• Cowboy managed a feedlot in Buckeye, AZ.
• Cowboy has been a certified Farrier for 25+ years.
• Cowboy has started colts for 25+ years.
• Cowboy has 'day worked' for ranchers every chance he's had.
• Cowboy worked & lived on dairies growing up; loaded and unloaded semi's of hay.
• We both even worked for an animal pharmaceutical company in Toppenish until they went bankrupt.
• We have bought, built, remodeled & sold places where we maintained our Pioneer spirit & Ag lifestyle.
• We have been sued...and lost...because some jerk didn't like driving by our covered arena! (They happened to have had more money than us, to keep the battle going!)

Our lives have been completely encompassed in the agricultural world. Agricultural lives means work! It requires a passion, dedication and fortitude. We thrived in our lives! The only time in all these years that Cowboy 'stayed home' from work was when he broke his back on the ranch in MT. and after having a heat stroke in AZ. Other broken bones or illnesses never stood in our way from a days work!

When we moved here, we were given the opportunity to fulfill our dream of having cattle. A rancher from the west side of the State was being "squeezed out". Cowboy had always been like a son to John. Keith had worked for him years ago and we've stayed close friends. None of John's sons or grandsons were interested in the cattle business to pass it on to, and being in his late 70's , wanting to semi-retire, he made us an offer we could not pass up. With purebred Shorthorn stock, he made it possible for us to have a jump start into our lifelong dream.

We moved into this community of longtime farmers and ranchers. The closest "city" is 35 miles away with a population of 2,800. Just our kind of home!

We don't own enough land to support a herd so we leased summer ranges, then winter fed, calved in Feb/March on the home grounds to make it work.
This community has quickly continued to shrink in population. Yet there happens to be a large feedlot (somehow connected to Agri-Beef) that consumes all the lands that come available or the farmer's families turn theirs over into CRP (not grazeable).
A year ago this month, just as Cowboy was headed out the drive to pay for our winter feed, I made him sit down to my black and white figures on paper.
(He was living with blinders on, desperate to bring our dreams to fruition).
Leased ground was becoming less available & what was left to lease, was becoming too costly...because of the feedlot!
Hay prices were soaring, fuel was creeping higher...it was NOT possible to break even with these conditions, let alone build the herd numbers up!
I insisted we sell out. He had to agree. We did, however, keep two back.
(Oh how I miss the calving time! That was always my favorite time of year!)
Cowboy proceeded out of the drive, he paid for the winter feed we needed for horses.
NOT cattle. It just was not in the cards for us.
Since coming back to Washington, he has "day worked" for ranchers and even the feedlot. But starting colts was to be our mainstay. Over the years, Cowboy has built a reputation and earned great respect from his clientele...80% of the colts he starts are for ranchers from 3 states. He's been upfront, honest & fair to them. He has not been greedy by taking in more horses than we needed to pay our bills; nor to jeopardize the quality of his work. He has not charged the ranchers the higher prices that others charge; and he has given them back horses that are safe, dependable and can get the job done that's expected of these animals.

..... AND THEN .....

On October 7th, Cowboy headed north to the Okanogan country again.
The purpose was three-fold.
1) to return 2 colts to a rancher that he had started.
2) to GIVE away one of our horses, to a 73 year old rancher who's 27 year old horse was failing.
3) to help some friends gather cattle off of their summer ranges for the week.

That morning before he left, 3 other horses he had started were picked up by their owners. The plan was that upon Cowboy's return that following week, (which is last week now) more horses would be arriving as had been scheduled throughout the winter.
The economy was taking a nose-dive fast and hard!
Two hours after he headed north, the phone began to ring.... "I'm sorry, but we can't afford..." ~~...."..maybe later, if things get better".... etc. etc. By the end of that week, all of his scheduled horses for the winter months had cancelled.
Do you remember that post "T'Was a S.A.D. Saturday" ?
We had managed to get all of our winter feed in here that week for the horses scheduled throughout the winter. Paid for.
The only horse that will remain here now, is that stallion, Bro, whose owner is in Hawaii.
He will leave this next Spring...if we hang on that long.

Since Cowboy's return from the North country, we have been doing survival maneuvers....
What? you might be asking...
We had to make the fateful decision, that any critter that did not 'pay' for itself, but instead, costs us money.. must leave!

• GAVE away 2 Border Collies (both less than 2 yr old, they will now have 'jobs')
• GAVE the goats away (no purpose having them since there's no dogs to train )
• GAVE away 2 more horses, one more yet to go (that'll make 4 GIVEN away)
• GAVE the chickens away (saves us winter feed and electricity for heat & light)
• The 2 remaining cows? no decision yet...

It has been a strange week, a hard transition,
and leaving us with a very sad, emptiness in our hearts, our lives!
Everything has happened so fast! We are still numb..but we WILL find our way.

A Queen....

... what is a Queen?

1. ... we had "Queen" an English rock band formed in 1970 in London, anyone remember them besides me?
2. ... there are 4 "Queens" in a deck of playing cards.
3. ... the "Queen" is the most powerful piece is in the game of Chess.
4. ... there is that dominant female "Queen" ant, bee, termite, or wasp.
5. ... one of Canada's leading universities in Ontario is "Queen's".
6. ... we also have a 2006 movie titled "Queen".
7. ... and we can't forget "The Queen"- part of The British Monarchy.

...BUT...how do "Queens" come to be?

None other than from....

...a "Train Wreck " of course!

"Queen For A Day" Award

I am pretty tardy in sharing this magnificent gift from Train Wreck!

I hope she accepts my sincerest apology for the time lapse...
*whisper ..shhh....
she has actually taken up singing and tapping her toes while she waits...
I know...... I have heard her!
Heck, it just might be too soon for her even tonight,
I could be hindering American Idol's detection of her capabilities!
...if so, I apologize for that too~ Lady!

When I began this blog back in May,
Train Wreck of Cowboy, Kids and Sunsets ,was one of the first blogs I landed upon and was instantaneously captivated by her writing, her creativity and her life!
I am so grateful for the discovery of her in this massive maze of the Blogosphere,
as we have become great friends.
Hey! She even said I could live in her neighborhood!
...and I wish I could!

This gal is so gifted, so altruistic and so genuinely entertaining, one can't help but find delight in all she creates!
Her passion for her family, for life and for her artwork is brilliantly displayed throughout her blog.

I cherish the friendship we've developed and positively hope to meet her someday!

I just love this lady! She has become my family!

If I still lived in AZ, I'd have driven up there months ago to give her a hug!

Thank you Train Wreck...

..not just for this personal "Crowning" made with your very own creative hands...

...but for your friendship!

Please...go check her artwork at "Gillespie Galleries" !
See what I'm talking about!

Music Can Soothe...

...the Heart and Mind!

But it also has a huge appetite for broadband!
My music has gobbled up all of my bandwidth time!
Who Knew?
I sure didn't until today when it ate right through the universe, through these invisible communication waves landing smack dab into my computer....
BAM! No more Internet connection!
I had to call Support Tech, or maybe that is Tech Support, for them to tell me I was not being "Friendly" by consuming so much 'space' with music! They told me I wouldn't get "friendly time" (their description of 'connectivity speed') until I reduced my usage to 70%. It would seem to me, that by having them control my access to nill, my usage should drop considerably, right?
But I still think this isn't very "friendly" on their part!
Heck I wasn't consuming the bandwidth, the music was!..
I was just enjoying some of my favorite tunes!
I'm wondering now, how I am supposed to know when that happens..reduced to 70%.
In their "friendly" manner, they told me it could take 24 hours for everything to be "digested".
So, like the "friendly" person that I am, it is now after midnight, being obedient to the Almighty Wild Blue...I'm on line for whatever amount of time I'm granted...
Long enough to REMOVE my Playlist!
I was told to wait until midnight, when I wouldn't be as "unfriendly" to others by gobbling up bandwidth that others may be hungry for.
Hey, why can't we all share? I thought I was paying my share! Hmpppmmmm!
Oh well, such is the way of my life...year after year after year!
So, no more music for my ears....my tunes or yours!
I will have to 'tune' you out if you have music playing....
Darn!
Sorry!
I had better hang up here before they tell me I'm being "unfriendly" again...
and let my appetite drop down to the 70%...whatever that is!

Why might I ask, couldn't THEY have been "friendly" by warning me! Send up flashing neon lights! Or wave huge red flags in front of my face...Anything! ...not....Nothing!
They can just flip a switch and say she's not being "friendly" anymore...

BAM! She's gone!

(I will be curious to see if tomorrow, they put me back in the "friendly" club...
or am I going to have stay in the Midnight Hour club awhile...)

~ ~ ~

Be sure and check out the next post down from this:

"Good Medicine Project"

I Traveled to Jordan Today..

...into the Lost City of Petra!

What an adventure for someone who goes no where!
If you want to learn more, as I plan to, click here for starters.

Do you remember the movie
"Indiana Jones:
Last Crusade"?
Well, walk through the Siq
(to the left) and you come out at
'The Treasury'..
(to the right)
Do you recognize this?
It is where parts were filmed.
The Lost City of Petra is built exclusively out of sandstone.
Beautiful colors, which these photos do absolutely NO justice for.


To the left,
is the Monastery
"ed Deir"
which is a mere
900 steps to reach!"
*
"Lawrence of Arabia" was filmed mostly
here in Wadi Rum
(to the right).
Home to the Zalabia Bedouin people.
It is said T.E Lawrence wrote "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom" here.

I had the most incredible journey today....
via video and the traveler who took us there!
*
THEN....
*
I WON!!!
*
All because # 11 is always my 'chosen' number when asked....

Aren't they pretty? And they are my 'birth month flower'!
A touch of Fall indoors now!
*
I ALSO......
*
Got "dressed up" today!
MY kind of 'dressed up'!
My best Wranglers, a pretty shirt and....




The only make up I own,
...Mascara!







And the most dreaded item in my closet,
...SHOES!




That is as dressed up as I get!
*
(I did get more dressed for my niece's graduation in June, ONLY because it was in a BIG city in Minnesota... & I think my family would have made me watch from the skylights if I hadn't.
I actually thought about returning the dress I purchased when I got home...heck!
It was only worn for 3 hours!...but didn't...
And I did get dressed up for our daughters wedding years ago...not sure why I had to though. Cowboy was allowed his spanking new Wranglers & Black Tux jacket & black Cowboy hat..."He wouldn't be Dad if he dressed any other way! "
...cough...er... um .. like I was ever seen in anything but Wranglers?
Dress? nada...but that's Ok "Hydro & The Guy"...

I did it for you because I love you!.. )

*
WHY?
Did I travel to Jordan?
WHY?
Win a pot of Chrysanthemums?
WHY?
Get 'dressed up'?
*
It was Meeting day! That's WHY!
*
No, not AA, or PTA; not even a Meeting of the Minds!
*
Nope!
*
It was our first Women's Farm Club Meeting of the year! Well, more like first of 8!
Why only 8? Because these are hard working Farm/Ranch women!
Harvest is mostly over, and the rush will all begin again in 8 months!
The Club was formed in the 1920's, which is the oldest,still active club in the County!
The women had very little time to socialize, homes were miles and miles apart.
Out of loneliness and lack of the access to socializing, they decided to meet
once a month, at each others homes.
Meeting time was set for 2 pm as these women had to prepare and serve Supper to
their working crews and families~ Supper, being the main large meal of the day.
The women whose families still harvest/ranch,...continue to do that, so the meeting is still 2pm!
There are 42 members ranging from 'Me' to 94 years young.

(Until today, I was the 3rd youngest member. The two younger ones whose lives didn't revolve around agriculture dropped out.)

My~does it feel good to be the "Youngest" at anything these days!

There are 27 active members and the remainder are 'honorary' status, because
they either live too far out and don't drive any longer, or they may be in nursing
or retirement homes elsewhere.
When I was asked to join 3 yrs ago, right after we moved here,
I was honored to be included as a member of the community.
This is the only socializing with other women I get to enjoy.
Everyone has tremendously busy lives and I thoroughly enjoy their company.
The stories they have to tell, the knowledge they willingly share,
and their trials, truiumphs and tears ~I empathize with.
All of these women are strong in faith, family and life.
They are fearless, sincere and have hearts as big as the sky!
*
The Club does community work helping to maintain the grounds of the tiny cemetary,
to painting a flag pole or replacing a bench in the park.
They contribute to the battered womens home in Spokane at Christmas with gifts of the little things these women might miss.
Donations are made to certain causes that come to the attention.
(Last year, the Club made a generous contribution to the Fistula Foundation.)
The women help with the sick, the dying or the lonely people in our community.
No matter how wide spread over a map our community is,one of us lives somewhat close to someone in need.Whether it be helping with grocery shopping, a trip to the doctor,
or the need to just have someone sit and listen in a time of suffering.
There is one of us to help. Always.
*
Holding to tradition, the two hostesses for the monthly meeting pick a program,
decorate, prepare delicious foods andserve with real china, silver, linens, and tea pots!
I think this idea was incorporated to make their meetings eloquent!To separate themselves from the aprons, stacks of pots and dishes;the dust, the chafe and the grime of their accustomed daily farm lives.
The women know how to put on a grand 'tea party'!
(and, yep, this hillbilly has learned! One time a year, I can pull it off!)
So....
Today, the Program was the sharing of an excursion by a Club member who traveled to Jordan and Egypt last year. Time didn't allow for her to present the complete trip that she had captured on video, but with her narration, her knowledge and the treasures she purchased we all were enthralled and had the feeling we were experiencing the trip with her.
It was an amazing journey! I plan to discover more about the history surrounding the Bedouin people and their country. I am facinated with what I learned today!
The Gift today, was that beautiful pot of Chrysamthemums.

Everyone was asked to speak a number, one at a time.
I was the 21st person to speak,I blurted out #11. Voila! I won!
That just happened to be the number the two hostesses were looking for!
*
Yes, I did get 'dressed up'. My way.
The other women go all out with earrings, necklaces, nice slacks and tops.
NONE of them, not even the two gals who dropped outwear jeans and tennis shoes!
JUST ME! I've always been the odd one out.
If someone doesn't like me for the way I am....oh well.
But these women don't care. Everyone is respected in their own rights.
(Besides, I don't own any of those kinds of clothes or accessories they do!
....never been in my budget or on my wish list!)
Now, it's been an exhilerating & exhausting day...
getting gussied up, traveling around the world, and winning a gift!
I'm signing off~
As tomorrow is just another day .....

From My Journal...(1992)

Thanksgiving in August ~~Aug 24, 1992

(part One)

Our small table was compressed with the warmth & love of our families and friends. Squeezed tightly together against each other, in our tiny kitchen sat Uncle Leonard, Clint, Dave & Gail, Dan & Kelli, Butch & Debbie, and Elaine. Of course there was Keith & I.

Our hands were held in this circle of togetherness as we bowed our heads in prayers. Grace was spoken softly by Clint, giving thanks for all we were blessed with, and sharing in sorrow for all those who had suffered at the opposite corner of our country.

While thousands in Homestead, FL had their lives rearranged today;
Locked in fear and lost in heartbreak.
Hurricane Andrew had struck with force!
We felt so lucky. We felt such sorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The past few weeks has been has been filled with delightful anticipation, preparations, laughter & wonder. I’m not sure what magnetic force was pulling at the heartstrings of so many, this particular time of year; all with the want to share their time at our home. I’m still amazed how this all came to be.
*****
About a month ago our phone started ringing off the hook!
First was Keith’s cousin Butch’s call. He and Debbie are going to make a loop from Whitefish east, down our way and back through Missoula & Darby, then they will be heading west towards home. Starting out in Olympia, they figured they’d be arriving at our doorstep Thursday August 20th and would stay for about one week. (He wants to check out the hunting possibilities while here!)

Four days later, the second call came from Uncle Leonard. He wants to surprise Clint with a visit. I had yet to meet this man and was thrilled with his plans to arrive via Amtrak, from St.Paul, MN, the 20th also!

Clint is already here. He arrived in May. Keith’s Dad is such a lonely man, with a heart so huge it seems to be exploding with enough love to share around the world twice, and then again. He has become a ‘fixture’ at our home on the ranch in Montana these years.

No more than 6 hours after Uncle Leonard’s call, was one from Danny. He is going on vacation, and is wondering if he could spend it here riding and helping at the ranch, as he always enjoys doing. He likes to escape the city, the rat race of Boeing. Would that be OK ? Okay is not the word! He will be bringing Kelli (daughter), this time and they will be here Saturday the 22nd, he said.

Keith has been so excited these 3 weeks anticipating our brother-in-law’s visit. His best friend! The one person he’s missed the most having left Washington when we came here to the ranch in Montana. Danny comes several times a year and each time is anticipated like it is the first, by both Danny and Keith!

Two days later, Dave and Gail call. Are we going to be around the 21st through the 25th they wanted to know? They too, need a vacation from Boeing. They are going on a road trip and wanted to stop here for a few days. Now that is a dumb question! They know, as everyone knows, when ‘working for the brand’, you are always at home! You may be in the mountains or out on the range, but most nights you lay your head on the pillow, in the comforts of your own bed.

Let’s count now…Butch & Deb=2; Clint makes 3. Uncle Leonard=4; Danny & Kelli makes it 6. Now with Dave & Gail, the total has reached 10, counting Keith and I!
How much better can this get?
A houseful overflowing through the eaves, when we only have each other most of the time.

It was about to get better! 12 days ago, Elaine called. She wants to take the train to come visit us, is that OK? She is thinking the 20th or 21st.
Uh-oh….people, dates, they all raced through my brain calculating, quickly, putting pieces of this puzzle together. When and who was arriving from where and for how long. Quickly I asked, if her much welcomed trip could begin the 20th. That would mean only one trip into Havre for me.
As I hung up the phone I was overwhelmed, I sat at my quilting frame with tears streaming down my cheeks. I wasn’t crying because of the number of people who were about to embark into our lives at once. Nor was I concerned with the total bodies sharing one bath, the food bill or whether this old ranch house, which was actually 3 old structures put together over time, would bust apart at the seams with 11 under one roof.
No, I was feeling so blessed that so many of our friends and families from far away, not just in miles, but in lifestyles, wanted to visit! And at the same time! Elaine’s call brought a surge of excitement and thankfulness. She is the person who introduced Keith and me years ago in that Cowboy bar, The Trails End. She is the one we thank every day, enabling us to set out on life’s journey, seeking our dreams.... together.

The upstairs was first on my agenda. I quickly finished the quilt (luckily, it only lacked binding the edges) and matching pillow shams that I’d been working on, when barely a month ago, the calls and the plans for visitors started falling into place.
Being the worry wart that I am, wanting everyone to be comfortable, to give each their own space was a huge challenge that I took on with diligence & pleasure. Each visitor is totally different than the next, from their personalities to their tastes. The only thing they all have in common, so different from Keith's and mine, are their lifestyle. All are coming from very populated parts of Washington & Minnesota. Their neighbors can hear them sneeze in the night. They are coming to our quiet little niche in the world, far, far away from city noises, from amenities; a far different way of life than any of them will ever live.

The upstairs bedroom, with its massive collection of boxes filled with fabrics, books, and other unpacked items were organized. The new quilt and shams adorned the bed. (I have this tendency to never totally unpack as we move so much in our lives; we just need to move boxes the next time, all packed and ready to go!) This will be Butch and Debbie’s room.

Just outside this bedroom door is my quilting, drawing and crafting room. You walk through this space before you come to the stairs heading down. This is my little sanctuary where I let my creative juices flow. How do I rearrange this space, to allow other people into the private solitary space I call my own? This room took some serious consideration. It would be the ‘bachelor’ quarters. Clint, Leonard, & Danny would adorn this room via the floor covered in quilts, pillows and suitcases. Clothes could be hung on the hooks I cleared of ‘projects in the works’. They would have to learn not to stumble over each other in their midnight quest for the bathroom…downstairs. They need to be arranged as to avoid the comings and goings from the bedroom next to them.
I had to dismantle my drawing table and my old wooden quilting frame, which I hid under and beside the bed in the bedroom next door, in order to accomplish this feat.
It was done successfully.

The extra bedroom downstairs would be Dave and Gail’s. With only a twin bed, they could fight it out, switch back and forth from floor to bed, or cuddle ever so closely together. It was their choice. I stashed all of my office paraphernalia in the already overstuffed closet. It’s a tiny room, but they have their privacy.

Dear Elaine, would be granted the couch covered with the first quilt I made. It is chalked full of memories with childhood clothing outgrown by the kids. She has known the kids since they were 2 and 3 years old. She will remember this swatch from Heidi’s dress, or that one from Chad’s first day of school shirt. She will be content.

Last but not least, I cleaned up Keith’s bed roll for Kelli, to use on the living room floor behind the couch where Elaine would rest. She would be out of the way there so as not to be walked on during the early morning stirring and preparations of the day by Keith, Danny and I.
*****
I’ve spent many hours scouring, rearranging, and baking these past two weeks. My energy levels are running in overdrive. Motivation and anticipation have over powered the need for sleep!
I have amazed myself that I managed to can 18 pints of beans and 7 quarts of carrots; finished the quilt and pillow shams. I rode with the guys two days moving bulls to a different pasture. I made 8 loaves of bread, 5 batches of cinnamon rolls, 4 batches of brownies, 5 dozen oatmeal cookies, 5 dozen peanut butter cookies and 6 dozen of my "pocket sandwiches" for the working men. Thank goodness we have a huge freezer! I have made 2 gallons of trail mix, jerked some more beef. This was to be our biggest gathering of family and friends in several years. I wanted everyone to feel at home, feed them well, give them days to remember, while at the same time show them what life on a ranch is all about. I wanted memories to be made by all.

Thursday, I tricked Clint in to staying home while I made the 60 mile trek into Havre. (I told him he would regret having to ride in the car with Elaine and I giggling and full of girl talk.)

I pulled into the train station with 10 minutes to spare. I anxiously waited for the incoming Amtrak from the East. It was carrying a passenger I’d never met. There were not too many people getting off in Havre, yet I waited for only one, Uncle Leonard. I recognized him right away! He has the same slow, softly spoken words as Clint. He is shorter though, with glasses, and younger. It was exciting as Clint had no clue of his impending visit. He and Clint are brothers, about to be reconnected after years of miles & life having kept them apart.

With two and one half hours to kill before Elaine’s arrival from the West, Uncle Leonard and I set out on the quest of purchasing groceries. Our house was filling up quickly and feeding such a large crew was going to require more groceries than my pantry could spare.We bought a 24 # turkey, 50# of potatoes. There were sweet potatoes to be had which meant marshmallows! He saw the Granny Smith apples and thought we should have a pie made from them. I winced when I saw their price at $3.99/lb, but didn’t show him. For this crowd, it would mean two or three pies, which meant a lot of apples & a lot of dollars. We loaded up with bacon, sausage, 5 dozen eggs, 6 gallons of milk, (4) 3# cans of coffee. As we continued to shop, we laughed like we had known each other for years! He even pushed the cart for me, which was a treat since I’m usually by myself lugging cartfuls through the store.
At the check out stand, the grand total came to…$233.56. That is a lot of money when our wages are slim! I was silently thinking as I heard every ping on the register, it’s a good thing we have a freezer full of beef, ranch provided. I didn’t really didn't care. We so rarely have guests unless it is other ranch hands and their families. I reached in my purse for my checkbook and the cashier said “Thank you, have a great time!”
As it turns out, in one of Leonard’s disappearing acts, he had gone to the checkout stand (which he made sure I chose that one!) and left a blank check or cash, I don’t know which, to cover our purchases! What a sweetheart of a man!
With 45 minutes until Elaine’s train came in from the West, Uncle Leonard and I decided to chose a small café near the station to grab some coffee and a sandwich. I could have sat all day with him, listening to the stories he had to tell. I sure love this man, as I do Clint!

Elaine’s arrival was filled with laughter and hugs that would not quit! Our chatter was non-stop. Even Leonard offered to drive us home if I'd give him the directions, maybe so he could ignore our childlike giggling. That was an easy choice. And it is an easy route.
(I did forget to tell him about the turn off for the short cut through Box Elder. It did not matter. We all just laughed).

Approaching our drive, from the ridge overlooking our home deep in the coulee, I could see that Butch & Debbie had arrived. Clint was napping, but we had plenty of hands to carry in our raid of the grocery store.
While the five of us were laughing and catching up on things, there was something stirring in Clint’s slumber on the couch. He awoke seemingly confused. His sock clad feet slowly veered toward the kitchen where all the racket was coming from, because something deep in his dreams from his past had awakened him, had been causing an 'itch that needed scratched' he said.
To his sleepy surprise, there stood his brother! Leonard!
It was the most elating experience to see these two brothers at that moment come together!
I will treasure that feeling, that vision forever!

Dave and Gail arrived Friday as we were enjoying the warm afternoon, sitting under the cottonwoods. Their last visit had been in the dead of Winter and they were pleased to see that it does get green here. Keith was working still, so the 8 us of lingered and laughed, the hours passed quickly. As the sun began to set, a chill was settling in the air.

Danny and Kelli pulled in around 10 pm on Saturday. Little did we know, but dragging behind in Danny's tracks~ was SNOW! Upon awakening in the early morning hours, we couldn't help but wonder if Danny’s sly sense of humor inspired him to lasso this storm coming over the Rockies, only to be deposited here on the prairie! We were covered in a white wintry blanket of snow! Not unheard of in Montana for a summer snowfall, but this 6 inches was a lot!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, the weather was cold and dreary, still lingering from yesterday's snowfall...perfect for a Thanksgiving in August! We had turkey, stuffing, candied sweet potatoes, homemade rolls, the whole works! Even 3 apple pies!
Little Joe gave Keith the day off, so we all were able to share in the cooking, the pranks, the laughter; the telling of big tales or small ones, new ones or changed ones. The house was alive with an electrifying spirit.
Everyone pitched in for the massive cleanup and mountains of dishes to wash. We had a real assembly line going as there is not much room for movement. It was the most fun I've ever had doing dishes! And we used every dish towel I owned! (Tomorrow, I must remember to do laundry).
As late evening settled in, we gathered in the living room, languishing in the memories of today, from the bounty we all shared. Our bonds grew tighter, we were wrapped in an enormous camaraderie only the 11 of us will know.
*****
I'm pretty sleepy now as the clock shows 1:15 am.

4:30 is only a few winks away, but luckily, I can climb back into these sheets once I get Keith and Danny set and on their way for another long day on the ranch.
As I put my pencil down, I think about the bittersweet day that has past.

While we enjoyed our Thanksgiving feast together, we also gave our solemn prayers to those in Homestead, Florida who lives were cruelly, and forever changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It has been 16 years today. I still remember it like it was yesterday.
The wonderful time the eleven of us shared together, packed into our home,
in the far away lands of Montana.
The snowfall, the love, the joy....and the sorrow for those in Florida.
Since that day, we have lost two of those special people who shared so much in our lives, who helped fill our hearts with memories~ that August of 1992.
Our Brother-in-law, Danny and Keith's Father, Clint.
We thank them....
and we will forever love and miss them....

(*PS...I still, to this day, do not completely unpack all of our boxes...one never knows what tomorrow's wind might blow our way!)

Things happen....

...for reasons, and I'm just not sure what they are!

First of all, THANK YOU ALL for your encouraging words & staying in touch with me! It means a lot to me!

"LIFE" UPDATES:

• BLOGGING FRIENDS...I am coming to visit you! I've missed knowing what's going on in your worlds!
• COMPUTER...got a virus last week. Finally 'wormed' my way around it today to connect to the Internet so I could try to 'fix' it. Will know soon if it worked! At least I got connected!
• MY DAD..."we know NOTHING until we know SOMETHING!" Hate this "waiting" process. Hopefully we'll know more on Wed. He is feeling better with a new Rx. But, I know it is a 'symptom' reliever, not a cure.
• OUR SON...He flies to N. Dakota on Wednesday...to decide if he wants to live there for the job that is being offered him. If he says "Yes"...he'll be gone from only being a short days drive from us by Sept 1.! That will sadden me...but I know he's been waiting for this opportunity for awhile, so I'll be happy for him!
• COWBOY'S TRIP...That'll have to be another time...I'm too far behind on things!
• A GIFT! ...from a dear friend I've met here in this blogging world! I just received it today from Professor. It's a book "Montana Women Writers, A Geography of the Heart". I am sooo very excited to start reading it! And it makes it even more exciting because.....
• MY ROOTS...I just found out this past week, begin in MONTANA! (or at least part of my roots!) My GGFather & GGMother homesteaded around Helena between 1868 & before! (State records only start at 1864)...My Grandfather was born in Cascade. And more will come in another post! So much info that I didn't know before! It's exciting for me! It proves to me that my dreams and thoughts as a child, that I should have been born 100 yrs prior...have some sustenance to them!

Now....Off to see what you all are up too!