Will things ever be good??

We've been in Texas 5 weeks!
The trip was uneventful...
I started work...learning to accept the humidity..
(love the heat without humidity!)
.
.
and then
.
.
on the 20th, I get a call..
My older sister had been been admitted to the hospital.
On the 24th another call at 10:30 pm
...she had had a heart attack..
 and was not expected to make it through the night.
I flew up to Washington the next day.
Was able to hold her hand....
Even though she was incoherent, I prayed that she knew I was there.
She passed away the next night.


I feel so lost...such a huge part of my heart, my life..has a hole, a void...
I cannot begin to describe...I can no longer spend long hours into the night chatting, giggling, crying with my sister Jan ..
The tears won't quit...but neither will the love I have for her...
I miss her so very much already.....


I lost my job...they would not hold it for me....not even a "I'm sorry..." was uttered.
.
.
But....I would not change the decision I made to be with her, to hold her hands...
to give her my love as she passed on....

Cowboy Wife